The World’s Oldest Obsession

Diane de Poitiers (September 3, 1499- April 25, 1566) was a fixture at the French court and became notorious as the mistress of King Henri II. At the age of 15, she married a man 39 years older, Louis de Brézé, seigneur d’Anet and had two daughters with him. Louis de Brézé died in 1531  and Diane took up black as her main color of dress for the rest of her life, adding later some white and grey. Diane was a very unusual woman in her day. She was brilliant, gorgeous and an incredible athlete. Her shrewd knowledge in financial matters and legal issues became apparent after her huband’s death as she fought to retain her late husband’s title of “sénéchale de Normandie” which she accomplished.

She stayed at court after becoming a widow at 35 and was appointed to head the royal nursery. It is here that young eight year old Henri (son of King Francois I) grew attached to Diane. As the years progressed Henri fell madly in love Diane, nearly 20 years older than him  and his admiration would grow into one of the most powerful love affairs in history.

Although King Henri II fulfilled his duty by marrying the noble foreigner Catherine de’ Medici, Diane de Poitiers would remain his lifelong true love. They had one daughter born in 1538 Diane, Duchess d’Angoulême (1538-1619).

Diane was a beautiful woman who maintained her looks well into her fifties, Diane possessed an extreme intellect and a political astuteness to the point that the King trusted her to write many of his official letters and to even sign them jointly with the one name: HenriDiane. She was in fact, the “brains behind the throne”. Diane even arranged the marriage between his son Francis and Mary Queen of Scots. Henri gave Diane the Crown Jewels of France, had the Chateau d’Anet built for her, and gave her the Chateau at Chenonceaux, much to the horror of Catherine who had desperately wanted it for herself. Naturally, this did not sit well with the real Queen, who really loved her husband. 

In 1559, Henri was critically wounded in a jousting tournament.

Catherine de’ Medici took control, restricting access to him. Although the king called out repeatedly for Diane, she was never summoned, and when he died, they never had a chance to say goodbye. Catherine also banned her from the funeral. Soon after that, Catherine de’ Medici took all of the gifts and jewels that Henri gave Diane and banished her from Chenonceaux. She lived the rest of her life away from court and died on April 22, 1566, when she was 67 years old.

Sometimes I dream of being a writer for Showtime’s original series, The Tudors. No because I want to be close to Jonathan Rhys Myers but because I want to fill America in on all of the historical drama that they have left out. They left out the amazing story of Katherine of Valois and they completely butchered the story of the beautiful Mary Tudor, sister of King Henry VIII. For those who haven’t watched The Tudors, the writers decided to combine Henry’s two sisters (Mary and Margaret) into one woman (weird), named Margaret Tudor, who in the series marries the King of Portugal and then later kills him. Not only is this false, but it is really boring. The truth is that these two women and their marriages changed history forever.  For this post, I will only write about Princess Mary Tudor.

Princess Mary Tudor was the youngest surviving daughter of Henry VII and Queen Elizabeth of York. She was on March 18, 1496, and was considered to be one of the most beautiful women in England. She was very similar to her big brother, Henry, and was vivacious, curious and very energetic. She loved clothes, food, dancing and partying. Since her father died when she was five she was basically unchaperoned and did anything that she wanted. Henry used her as a royal pawn (like most Kings and Queens did) and he betrothed her to King Louis XII of France, who was 34 years older than her. Described as “feeble and pock-marked”, he was unattractive, overweight and already buried two wives. Mary refused to wed the French king, weeping and screaming for days. Since Henry adored his little sister, he struck a deal with her: she would do her princess duty and marry the French King. But, if she were to outlive Louis – which was very likely – she wanted her next husband to be one of her own choosing. Henry agreed, quite possibly with the intention of never honoring his promise.

In the meantime, Mary had already fallen in love with the King’s best friend, Charles Brandon, the Duke of Suffolk. Charles Brandon was gorgeous, athletic, very popular and in love with Mary too. Even though Brandon was a Duke, marriage to him would still have been considered marrying beneath her. Even though she loved him, a union between the two would have been unthinkable. 

So she went to France and was married to the King in the fall of 1514. Three months later, Louis XII died! And guess who King Henry VIII sent to bring Mary back from France? Charles Brandon. Well they didn’t return back to England so quickly because THEY GOT MARRIED IN SECRECY!

Rumors started to spread and Charles had no choice but to write a letter and let King Henry VIII know. Henry flipped out. He was angry because they did this in secrecy and because she lost her dowry. This was considered treason and many members of the royal family wanted Charles to be executed. However, Mary was his favorite sister (he named the famous ship Mary Rose after her, as well as his only legitimate child at the time, the princess Mary) and Charles was an old friend, and the couple was soon forgiven but not without a price. Henry demanded that Charles and Mary repay the treasury the money that was spent for her dowry to France, which amounted to 24,000 pounds, a huge sum at the time but she also had to return all the plate and jewels and all the gifts that Louis XII had given her. After that, all was forgiven and they were married in a quiet, private ceremony.

Their love didn’t last very long though. Mary died very young, when she was in her 30s, and Charles wasted no time in re-marrying. He quickly married Catherine Willoughby, an heiress, who was 14 at the time of their marriage, Suffolk was almost 50. 

All of you English history buffs have heard about the “Two Princes in the Tower” but many people don’t know about their mother, the beautiful Elizabeth Woodville. Like Katherine of Valois, Elizabeth Woodville is a footnote in the history books, but she had a significant impact on English history. And for all of you pop-culture fans, she was also King Henry VIII’s grandmother.

Elizabeth was born in 1437 in Northamptonshire and grew up to be called “the most beautiful woman in the Island of Britain”. For the sake of brevity, I am going to fast forward to when she was married to Edward IV, the King of England, in 1464.  Edward IV was known to be a womanizer but that didn’t faze Elizabeth; She loved him. Elizabeth also loved being the Queen of England. The War of the Roses was tearing up England, but life was good for Elizabeth. She had 10 surviving children with Edward, including 3 sons. Since she produced an heir to the throne, she became secure at court, or so she thought. Edward IV died in 1484 and their 12-year-old son, Edward V became King. His father’s brother Richard, Duke of Gloucester, was entrusted with the role of Protector to Edward V and his younger brother Richard, Duke of York.  But for some strange reason, Richard ( the Uncle) intercepted Edward and his brother  Richard on their return journey from Wales and escorted them to the Tower of London for “their safety”. Then Richard ( the Uncle) breaks the news to Elizabeth that King Edward IV married another woman before her named Lady Eleanor Butler. Since Lady Butler was alive when the King married Elizabeth, her marriage become null and her children became illegitimate. Elizabeth was devastated. She was heartbroken over Ms. Butler and even more devastated that her children became illegitimate. Less than three months later, Richard (the Uncle) took the throne himself. On top of that, she never saw her two sons again; Her sons became the famous “Princes in the Tower”. After the two boys went into the Tower of London, they were never seen in public again. What happened to them is one of the great mysteries of history but it is safe to say that Uncle Richard had something to do with their disappearance. This sounds like a new Angelina Jolie film, but this is all true.

Soon enough, Elizabeth Woodville got her revenge AND her seat in court when her daughter, Elizabeth of York, grew up to marry King Henry VII. 

My sincerest apologies for taking such a long hiatus. Thank you to all of my fans for your great emails and notes asking about the next post. I have been so busy traveling and working that I haven’t had a chance to post anything. My recent break in writing had me thinking about all of the famous royals who dedicated so much of their time to the arts, especially writing. It takes so much time and dedication to write a story and believe it or not, some royals were excellent storytellers. Especially, Georgiana Cavendish, The Duchess of Devonshire. I know I write about her a lot, but she was a remarkable woman and the movie did not do her justice! She was also an incredible writer and wrote successful plays, poems and books.

Georgiana seemed to have it all however, she disguised her hideous and demeaning private life. Within a few short months of her marriage to the Duke, she became a heavy drinker, drug-taker, and a gambling addict. By the time she realized what had happened to her it was too late. ‘When I first came into the world the novelty of the scene made me like everything,’ she wrote in 1778. “But my heart now feels an emptiness in the beau monde which cannot be filled…nobody can think how much I am tired sometimes which the dissipation I live in.” Feeling trapped by the world she became a part of, Georgiana chose to write about her situation anonymously. The result was a book in 1778 called, The Sylph, by ‘A Young Lady’, a tell-all about high society in general, and the Devonshire House Circle in particular.

The novel was a great success. Part of its allure was the mystery behind the author’s identity. At first, people believed that Fanny Burney was the author, and Burney’s publisher tried to hint as much in order to increase his sales. But soon Georgiana’s friends recognized some of their more intimate details in the book, and the secret was out. Plus, Georgiana didn’t really disguise some names in her book.

The Sylph shocked readers because it portrayed the aristocracy as a collection of drunks, blackmailers, wife beaters and adulterers. Written in a series of letters, the story follows the misadventures of the young and beautiful Julia Stanley, a naïve country girl who has married the cruel and reckless Sir William. Having only known her husband for a short while, Julia discovers too late that Sir William is a terrible man whose only interests are fashion and gambling. But she tries to keep his affections by learning the ways of the Ton (the circle that Georgiana was a part of). At first she is shy and timid, but slowly she becomes adept at living a la mode: she can talk, sing, dance, dress and think like a fashionable person. But during the process she realizes that her soul is being corrupted by the cynicism and heartlessness of her new friends and family.

The heart of the novel is Julia’s struggle to remain true to herself while those around her either submit or are beaten down into embracing an immoral life. The Sylph is a unique, insider’s glimpse of eighteenth-century High Society. Georgiana describes a competitive, vicious world where opportunists, liars and bullies flourish. It is a world that rewards vice and values hypocrisy; where women have few rights and must defend themselves in any way they can. The irony is that even as Georgiana was protesting against this world, she was also its creature. However, with the publication of The Sylph, she had made her first step towards independence. Her own career as the Leader of the Ton would be vastly different from her heroine’s but, after suffering disgrace and exile, Georgiana would eventually emerge as the most successful female politician of her era. What also makes this novel so compelling is that it predates Jane Austen’s masterpiece, Pride and Prejudice, by three decades.

Now, if Georgiana could pull of a secret, tell-all novel, can you imagine what her Twitter page would have looked like. 

In 1395, The Duke of Burgundy, Philip the Bold, was so afraid of the Gamay grape that he banned it. That’s right: a Duke called “the Bold” feared a grape. But this was one of the best decisions in oenology history. He ordered Gamay vineyards to be torn out of Burgundy and banned from ever being planted there again so that it would not compete with Pinot Noir. Good decision.

Pinot Noir is one of my favorites but I feel like Gamay is the Rodney Dangerfield of the grape world, it gets no respect. For centuries, Gamay has struggled to be seen as a serious wine contender (except, in food-savvy Lyon). And I think it is surprising that a beverage so lightly regarded has become one of the world’s most popular wines, with more than 70 million bottles sold annually.

Philip the Bold was also Philip the Brilliant because over the last 600 years, it has become clear that while Gamay might not be suited to Burgundy, it is very much suited to the Beaujolais region. And while Gamay might not produce the world-class age-worthy wines that Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Noir are capable of, it still makes a juicy and tasty wine.

Gamay grows on the fast side – it is an early budding, flowering and ripening grape which means that although it can be sensitive to frost, it is also capable of ripening in cooler climates. This is one reason why you can find it grown in the Loire and also in Switzerland. Gamay tends to have a fairly crisp level of acid and aromas and flavors of fresh strawberries and raspberries. For drinkers looking for a red with fairly soft tannins, Gamay is a great red grape to try. In fact, if you are new to red wines, I recommend that you consider starting out with a red grape like Gamay.

Although Gamay is grown in several different regions, it is practically synonymous with the Beaujolais region. As the Oxford Companion to Wine points out, “no other wine region is so determinedly monocepagiste as Beaujolais…” meaning that no other wine region relies so heavily on just one single grape variety for all of the wines produced in that region. The wines of Beaujolais Nouveau, Beaujolais, Beaujolais-Villages and the 10 crus of Beaujolais are all made from the Gamay grape.

I don’t know what the Dukes of Burgundy had against the Gamay grape because it turns out that 60 years later, Philip the Good, issued another edict against Gamay in which he stated the reasoning for the ban is that “The Dukes of Burgundy are known as the lords of the best wines in Christendom. We will maintain our reputation”.

Oh and if you are wondering why Philip was called “the Bold”, it has nothing to do with wine. Philip was the founder of the second and last ducal house of Burgundy, the fourth son of John II, King of France and for all of his courageous and bold actions in the Battle of Poitiers (1356); he won the nickname “The Bold”. 

If you thought King Henry VIII lived a dramatic life, just wait till you read about his great grandmother, Katherine of Valois. Katherine’s life was filled with neglect, loss, insanity, love and secrecy. Typical of a Tudor. 

Katherine (or Catherine) of Valois was a French princess, born in 1401. She was the daughter of King Charles VI, aka Charles “The Mad” and Isabeau de Bavière. Her story is so fascinating and I am shocked that she is nothing more than a footnote in the pages of history. I am going to sum up her life in a few paragraphs but I recommend that you read about her because you will get hooked. 

Basically, her father was insane and thought he was made of glass. Her mother took advantage of this and had public affairs left and right; many people believe that her sons were from another man. In fact, her son’s legitimacy, the future King of France, was questioned his entire life. While her mother was out having fun, Katherine and her siblings lived in poverty and filth. She loved her father so much and couldn’t bear to see him so ill. She also yearned for her mother’s love and approval but her mother had NO interest in her children, OF COURSE until they became valuable. 

Meanwhile, England was at war with France, and the English were conquering more and more land everyday. When she was 19, Katherine was signed over to King Henry V of England as part of the Treaty of Troyes. So not only was she sent away to a country that was at war with her homeland, but she was now married to a man that took the crown away from her father and brother. The English never trusted her because she was French and the French hated her because she was a traitor. She was alone again. Eventually she got pregnant and gave King Henry V an heir. She adored her son and showered him with the love that she never received. Just a few months after her son was born, King Henry V got sick and died. 

Soon she was exiled from court and her son was taken away from her to be raised by his uncles. She was sent to live in the English countryside. She was alone again but soon found comfort and friendship with a Welsh man that managed her wardrobe. That’s right, her wardrobe. That man’s name was Owen Tudor and that is how the Tudor dynasty started. 

Oh wait, there is more. They fell madly in love, married in secrecy (she was forbidden to marry again) and had 6 children. Eventually people found out about their marriage and she was sent away to live in Bermondsey Abbey, where she died from an illness. After her death, Owen and Katherine’s enemies decided to proceed against Owen for violating the law of the remarriage of the Queen. Owen appeared before the Council, acquitting himself of all charges and was released. On his way back to Wales, he was arrested and his possessions seized. Meanwhile, Owen and Katherine’s two older sons, Edmund and Jasper, were sent to live with Catherine de la Pole, who was abbess of Barking and sister to the Earl of Suffolk. 

Sometime after 1442, King Henry VI (Katherine’s first son with King Henry V) stepped in and took a role in their upbringing and made them both Earls. Edmund would live on to become the father of the future King Henry VII and the grandfather of King Henry VIII. Can you believe that Showtime left this out of The Tudors?

I don’t really get star struck, but I had to upload this picture of me and Dominic Cooper. He played Charles Grey in The Duchess. He also played Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility.

Marie Antoinette and other 18^th century royals were known for their sky-high headdress and grandiose wardrobes. Historic paintings and etchings show how women extended themselves vertically with wigs, hair pads, pomades, dust and other items such as navy warships, flowers and animals. 

It is even reported that once a woman had a three-foot creation upon her head that included a birdcage with a live, chirping bird inside. During this time, the potato, yes the potato, was feared to cause leprosy. In fact, the royals banned the potato from Burgundy, France in 1619. It took a soldier and some pomade to make the potato en vogue again.

A French chemist named Antoine August Parmentier served in the Seven Years War and lived off of potatoes while in captivity in Prussia. After a while, he began to love the spawned spud and when he returned to France, he made it his mission to introduce it back into French society. Parmentier was well connected and one night, he brought King Louis XVI a bouquet of potato flowers. 

Knowing how much his wife, Marie Antoinette, loved to dress her hair with flowers and vegetables, he gave her the bouquet and sure enough she put the potato flowers in her hair for a big event. Immediate after that, potato flowers became the latest fashion accessory. Parmeniter was a PR genius and started to create lavish potato dinners for men like Benjamin Franklin and Antoine Lavoisier. Parmeniter continued to promote the potato and soon he was granted permission to plant an acre of potatoes in the French countryside. He was a smart guy and instructed guards to watch over his crops knowing that the poor would steal the crops after the guards went home. Soon potatoes were being planted all over France and became one of France’s biggest exports.